Good Morning Judge How are you today

Today I woke feeling like poop. I haven’t had a flu jag yet and I’ve fallen under the cold I sweated all night and woke with massive bags under my eyes a dry throat and a red nose

Sadly I couldn’t stay in bed I had a court summons to appear as a juror.

I was going to get the train but felt so awful I thought I would drive. I set off early intending to hit the chemist before I went in.

A traffic accident put paid to that. I was stuck in traffic for 40 minutes.

I arrived five minutes before my due time and was shown into a room with 50 other people. I could feel my germs spreading out all over the place. I had no hankies. There was a box sitting on the witness stand (never a good thing) and I stood up and stole some.

Another 10 or so jurors arrived - and then the clerk of court came in and did a role call and then explained what was going to happen.

She riddled off to speak to the PF and came back and explained the two cases and named the defendants and the witnesses - if we knew any of them, or of the case we were to advise

‘they’ve both had a bit of a weekend eh?’ Was her comment. - a robbery and resisting arrest and domestic battery and arresting arrest! Not a ‘weekend’ I think!

Anyhoo we all sat for another hour while 16 people protested their exclusion reasons and then we sat for another hour while the PF sat with the defendants.

Then the clerk came back and said both defendants had changed pleas and we were all free! But we had to wait until ‘the yerberts’ had been dismissed.

Then I came home and slept and snottered and sneezed