The Infirmary Bridge

"This footbridge is not called the Infirmary Bridge because it’s infirm. Calling a bridge ‘infirm,’ might deter people from crossing it. It is called the Infirmary Bridge because it leads to the Royal Northern Infirmary.
   As I stepped onto the bridge the other day, the walkway started to undulate. Once you are at the centre of the bridge it will positively bounce, as many tourists and children with liberal-minded parents have discovered to their inane delight. The thing turns into a kind of trampoline, running the risk of catapulting exceptionally tall people into the river. This wanton bouncing annoys locals like me who are merely trying to cross the river without feeling that they are in a circus."

Abridged from the short story: The Day that Jake McConnel Clapped Ma Dug by Martin Russell