Crystallised thoughts.

Yesterday evening I was feeling very mellow and having a quick browse of bookmarked sites when I was brought up short by the face of "hazy lands" special friend. It was a wonderful face and looking at it and reading her comment made me suddenly realise that many things I had struggled with for a while now and many issues I was involved with had been resolved and I could see clearly for the first time in ages. Sometimes you just need a catalyst to crystallise all the things you've worked out into one coherent whole. For me this blip did that. I then had a phone call from my cousin who was saying that her husband would pick mum up for the nativity service in church where her 10 year old son was playing the inn keeper. Her son was born after nine years of trying for a baby to universal joy within our family. Two days later the awful news was given that their seemingly perfect wee boy had been born with half his brain non functioning. He has never walked or talked and has very little cognitive function and is fed through a tube into his tummy. His mum and dad are proud and thrilled by their son and the joy he brings to their life and to family members. As I spoke to his mum though it became apparent that at the moment she is in a really bad place within herself. It was heartbreaking to listen and suddenly once again I was brought ip short by the hidden sadness in many lives. I had blipped a pair of boots yesterday and although that seemed fairly superficial it was the meeting behind them that made it such a special gift. For some time my husband had suffered from severe depression and had retreated into himself losing the spark that made him himself. It's an awful thing to watch someone you love losing themselves and not being able to find a way back. He is now fully recovered and back confidently being himself. The boots and the way our day unfolded represented to me in a practical way that once again we could spontaniously have fun and just enjoy being. During the dark and difficult years I had so much help and support from often unexpected sources It was this that Hazylands blip brought home to me There are so many decent caring people like her in this world who give of themselves with kindness and love to make other peoples lives more fulfilling and bearable. At Christmas time especially we need to let go of the hassle and worry and enjoy ourselves with those we love. This was why I decided to blip my 84 year old mum busy reading her wartime nursing romance. She has vascular dementia which leaves her very confused and forgetful on bad days but today was a very good day. Who knows whether she will still be with us next year or wether she will recognise us so this is going to be a grateful Christmas. For her with a life well lived and for all who help care for her and make my life that bit easier.