Simple Beauty

Sometimes I think I look in the mirror and catch glimpses of who I think I am rather than who I really am. Anyone else have those experiences? I watched a really interesting slightly creepy movie tonight called "Don't look Back." First off, It was completely unexpected. It was incredibly well acted as well.

It's premise is the point of my musing tonight. It's easy for me to turn into someone that another person needs, but how much of that is me losing myself? How much of that is me not being who I am? could it be that I am that person, that makes themselves into whatever is needed for that moment? Is that losing myself among the notes of a different life or is it just being who I am at anew measure?

So often I wonder how solid reality is. Is it as solid as the real world that I can touch and feel or is it fluid, like the emotional world that I find myself dealing with in relation to the solid world. How much of that impacts who and what I am? I find myself strolling down the halls of my own heart tonight wondering, wondering who I am and what I am and how much of the darkness of my should affects me? Sure we all have our dark sides.

I feel like I've spent the last year on one hand finding who I am and yet on the other hand I wonder how much of myself I have ultimately found, or have I lost it among all of the finding? Life is like a blank page that we fill up with words, redefine them or so we tell ourselves, but I wonder just how much we do define. We make up our lives, we are a sum of the choices that we make, but as I wander down the corridors of my own soul asking, seeking and wondering I find that sometimes reality is the echoes of the silence of these walls and sometimes its in the smiley face of my puppy as she looks up at me because I was just loudly firm with her about chewing on a light switch, not the greatest idea for a puppy.

Sometimes I gotta admit, she's going to be a handful thats for darn sure. We are working on it. We worked on some training today and I am hoping that over the next consecutive weeks we are able to get her to stop biting and such. It's slowly working. One day at a time. Any suggestions are welcome.

I felt bad, I kinda lost my temper with her a bit tonight, but we worked it out, went for a run and she is finally starting to chew on other things besides me and the furniture, like her toys. :) ONe day at a time.

Tonight as I type these wordsI bid you a goodnight and a smile, hoping that your musing takes you to the places you need to go and to the realities you need to find. Sometimes its among the simple beauties of life that we find our greatest realities.