Thursday 26 April 2012: Elephants.
I've had this bracelet for years, but I can't remember where I got it from - and it's bugging me. I probably bought it on holiday or something, but still.
Today has been awful, truly awful. I got to school after trekking up hills to get to it in the wind and pouring rain. So I got to school and my ICT teacher called me out of registration and asked why I hadn't been turning up to lessons, and so I explained that I'm waiting for my Head of Year to sort out what I have to do until I start afresh next year so I don't have to go to lessons. So I spent until lunch time in the Science ICT room where my friends and I go in our free periods, and it was just so boring. But David and me had a few laughs. At lunch I went to see my Head of Year about what's next for me; and he asked me if I was sure that it's what I wanted to do, and then he arranged a meeting for himself, the Deputy Head and me to attend tomorrow morning, which I'm not particularly looking forward to but at least things will probably be finalised; decisions and all. But on the way out of school Lesley and me were stopped by a woman from Pastoral who screamed at us for not being in Sociology today and demanded to know why. She didn't care when I told her that I didn't have to go to lessons anymore, and had sorted everything out with my Head of Year (who near enough told me that I was fine), she just kept shouting. I mean, what has it got to do with her? She doesn't have the authority to get involved in what's going on with me at the moment, she doesn't have anything to do with me retaking my school year so I refuse to let someone talk to me like that without knowing the real reason why, and refusing to listen when I try and tell her.
Anyway, I got home and found that the stupid woman had left a message on the home phone; telling my mum to ring her as soon as possible, but she'd ring her mobile phone anyway. But my Mum has a new number and the school don't have it - but they'll ring the home phone again soon as my Mum wasn't in to answer it earlier. And my Mum and me have had a huge fall-out, she's treating me like I'm something disgusting; turning her nose up at me or just ignoring me when she has no interest. I don't want to imagine her reaction when she discovers that I've been missing classes, even though I'm kind of allowed. But she doesn't know that I'm retaking the year, as far as I'm concerned it has nothing to do with her. I've tried to tell her numerous times but she doesn't take an interest in what I say. So I'm leaving home, and going to stay with my Grandma for a while. I'll stay there until my Mum gets rid of her boyfriend, I really, really hate him. He's the reason my Mum doesn't talk to me anymore, since he doesn't like me because I wasn't accepting when they first got together because I love my Dad, and I miss him so much. He's essentially taking my Mum away from me, and I'm not being selfish or childish here. But there is nothing I can do about it anymore, because she'd choose him over me. But I hope she realises that she's only ever going to have one daughter, and I've had enough. She doesn't have me anymore, I'm done.