Friday 4 May 2012: Dumbledore.
This is all I've written in my diary today, or rather drawn, because I just watched the Goblet of Fire where Dumbledore says this quote. I'm aware you can't read it since it's focused on the drawing, but it says: "Dark times lie ahead of us, and there will be a time when we must choose between what is right, and what is easy." - it's probably my favourite quote.
Today has been a little strange. As soon as I got to school I stopped by Pastoral to ask if I could talk to them about a few personal problems, so they told me to go there after registration. I did so, and as soon as I sat down I just burst into tears, it was awful. But I got things off my chest and I did feel a lot better, naturally. I just didn't want to feel the pressure of being judged, so I talked to someone I didn't know. But that's not to say that everything is ok again. And I just don't want people to worry about me, that's why I keep quiet about things.
I finished all of my coursework at school, which is a big weight off my shoulders as teachers have been pestering me for it for weeks. So now they can leave me alone, I hate all of them. This morning a teacher started asking me questions to such an extent that it reduced me to tears, they were questions asking why I'd been missing lessons. I just want it to be summer, so that I can relax, smile and just have fun - because there won't be any pressure from anyone.
On my way home I bumped into my Dad, who was with his girlfriend, and it was just perfect seeing him. I haven't seen him in such a long time. And his girlfriend is one of the loveliest people I have ever met, she's so kind and considerate - especially to me because she knows that it's been hard for me to deal with my parents splitting up and all. I have a huge amount of respect for her. And I can see how glad my Dad is that we get on so well. They gave me a lift home and started discussing my birthday; they're planning a meal for our whole family which I'm excited about, and what they can buy me. My Dad's girlfriend was so lovely about it, saying she's had some ideas as to what to buy me. I'm so happy for her and my Dad.
However, I've become extremely self-conscious. Since I got home this afternoon I stopped eating, and intend to keep it this way. And I'm not saying this for attention, but I feel better when I talk about things. It doesn't help how everyday I'm surrounded by really thin, pretty girls, and then there's me.
Anyway, I hope you've all had a wonderful day, and I do hope you all have a brilliant weekend.
Song of the day. This is the music from my favourite scene in the Order of the Phoenix, where Fred and George set off Dr. Filibuster's fireworks while Harry, Ron and Hermione are in the middle of an O.W.L, just to get at Umbridge. It's pure brilliance.