Blue

A morning at work - hell. Purely because of the way I was feeling.

Lunch then my psychiatrists appointment. I want an answer; how can I feel
so  different from the day before. Since Thursday last week I have gradually being feeling worse, low, not interested, feeling numb. I have been self harming more too. She doesn't have an answer, because if she did 'I would have felt better long ago'.
Another course of ECT was mentioned; possibly over the C******** holidays.  

It's all just s***. Went for a drive afterwards as I didn't want to go home. It was a long drive.