Les Miseslurps

Based on a novel by Victor Hucrunch.

There was a big gang of senior citizens going to see Les Miserables this afternoon. They were just as unruly (they don't do queuing) and eager for sugary shite as their much younger counterparts heading to see the Croods.

A good time was had by all.

But I did spot a few grannies in meltdown mode on the way out, wailing from utter exhaustion, and a couple of old dudes bickering over the last popcorn at the bottom of the bucket.

Over the years (well, 20 now) I have got over the amount of munching and slurping and crunching that goes on in the cinema. I have totally defrenchasized myself. I have come to fully accept that going to the cinema is a socialising activity. It is about going out with family and friends, eating suitcases full of sweets while drinking buckets of soda, having a chat, having fun and occasionally watching a film.