Wednesday

Met a friend for a walk and coffee this morning. We wanted to retry a place that had been shut before and today it was shut again. As there is no shortage of coffee places we found another no problem. 
I know I put a brave face on for her as it's not fair to keep off loading and, I want this time I have with her to be a nice one for both of us. But today it was too much and I said stuff. 
I'm not coping. 

Got home and felt very uneasy, agitated. Tried a few things; coping skills but didn't make much of a difference. I ended up self harming and that brought things to a more even keel. 

Had to post a letter, so walked  a bit further to the park, which I haven't been to in ages. Colour is starting to happen. Had to get down quite low for this. 

Home via Sainsburys to buy a big bag of crisps and plonked myself on the sofa with a mug of tea and some tv.