Deliverance ..

Now this may not look like much of a photo but just bear with me ...
Arrive at the Freespirits outdoor centre and kitted up .. We have our own stuff so we didn't need fitting up for wetsuits and shoes etc just for helmets and life jacket whatsits .. So we meet Andy who is our instructor and he is going to be good fun I can tell ... We are all driven to Aberfeldy to get into the river Tay along with our three floaty boaty things .. Lucy and I in one and Mr W and Eve in another and Andy in his own ...
Ohhhhh it's all so pretty and quite hard work to start with as cunningly there is no flow as such ... bastard stupid river ..so we have our lessons and all seems well ... For a while I struggle about with Lucy who seems to think she's Queen of the Nile and has 'many' rests ... Mr W and I swap children ..
The wily river swishes us into some very low branches .. We capsize ... I get stuck under it screaming as I can't lift the fucking thing because the sodding tree is holding it down ... I am all the time thinking where is my child ... She is clinging on to the outerside of the canoe thing shouting .. The water is much faster than you think it is .. I get from under it and river literally takes me ..feet up head back as I have been instructed ... EXCEPT a large rock stops me by jamming itself in my bum crack( water is quite shallow yet strong)
WHEN I look around Mr W is literally weeping with laughter ... Hateful grub.
Next we are 'taught' capsizing ... Only I seem to be the only capsizer and fall off ... So Andy tips Eve out and throws the floaty ship on our heads .. It has wooden seats ... gahhhh...
Ok ok so I can't get back in ... We can't turn it over ... Andy has to help .. You know when you laugh so hard you go floppy ? That was me .. In water with a canoe on my head so I did what all normal people do and wet myself .
Then the intrepid explorer Andy shows us the first set of rapids ... He called it skull valley or something the evil git.
Hmmmmm I am not going to lie to you all its not my idea of fun ... My language was worse than ever .. Lucy and Mr W are naturals yet Eve and I can't wait to get off ... Another set of rapid bits renders me mute and horrified and before we get to the evil set you can opt out ... I kid you not I was like bloody lightening to that shore ..
Mr W and Lucy are fair game ... I am nervous ...
Andy literally gives them a pep talk and then goes and stands on a massive rock in the middle of the vicious water ... 99% of people capsize here ... Guess what ... They did .. My baby disappeared ... Eve is recording it .. You can see it on FB those of you who have me ... For point 4 of a second my heart is I the Wong place then I see Andy haul her to him but see this is where people don't realise the power of water .. It looks nothing but that water took Mr W away and fast .. There is no standing up your legs would break... Mr W is strong but not that strong .. He also lost a shoe but it was rescued by Ollie one of the other members of staff (awesome team they have)
Anyway back to my meaty 5 stone child ..she loved it ... Wanted to do it again the little FREAK OF NATURE .. She said there was a split second when she thought she would panic then she saw Andy and she knew it was all just good fun ... It was not that nice to watch by the way.
Stupid Mr W went and did it again in a double boat thingy with young Ollie the shoe rescue chap ...
Would I do it again ??? No.. I shall stick to skiing .. Am I glad I did it ... YES !

I am having an early night .



Picture is Andy keeping Lucy safe .. Mr w and canoe jobby are long gone ..