Up way before my alarm ; nothing new these days. An early session with R and one that caught me unawares, it is surprising what comes out in these sessions.

This morning was all about Dad and I spent the hour sobbing, and being made aware I am living in the past, with conversations in my head, like ‘what if’ ‘what would it be like if’ and ‘If only’. I can’t change what happened and I can’t turn back time, two things that I desperately want to happen.

Home via the supermarket and back into my onesie for an afternoon of attempting sleep to no avail and more tears.

I think I need a purpose for Saturdays other than counselling. I need a distraction/company afterwards, otherwise every week I am going to end up in bed afterwards. Don’t know how that is going to happen though.