#Lovember the 16th. Family part 4.

Richard.

AKA Mr Rachel.

I met Richard in January 1989 when I was 19. I make that nearly 25 years ago!
In those days he was surfing a lot and drinking a lot. He'd been the British surfing champion only a few years earlier and was still riding that particular wave (Ha ha).
I knew nothing about that successful sportsdude nonsense I just knew I fancied him.

He is known to a lot of locals by his surfing success but I find all the other stuff more attractive, endearing, significant, important, impressive, and inspiring. He is a very friendly man and a great communicator. And he has put his knowledge and experience of surfing to good use rather than bathe in any past glory: he owns a shop and gives advice to others, he sponsors contests, he has taught his own children to surf and Tess in particular has really benefitted from this. In my opinion what he has done for others is far better than anything he did for himself.

I am most proud of the way Richard has developed as a father. He has dedicated every minute that he is not working or answering calls to his family. He understands that the stuff that isn't earning us money is as important and as tiring (and often more so) than the stuff that does earn us money.

Richard has done his fair share of rocking screaming babies, changing nappies, making meals and washing dishes over the years. He's what I would call an unintentional feminist - he just sees what needs doing, what's fair and what's not fair rather than discussing the politics of life.
I strongly believe that the more we are forced to put others first the more rewarding we find life.

These days Richard's life is a sumptuous mix of running a shop - and all the phone calls that entails, walking the dog, walking the wife, doing school runs, loading the dishwasher, giving lifts to the kids, drinking wine, falling asleep on the sofa (like right now), still surfing occasionally, and watching surf contests online.

To me he is every cliché under the sun: my best friend, my soulmate, my rock ( - all jagged and salty and covered in seawater), my first, my last, my everything. I love him more now than I ever did and that's because of all the stuff he's done that wasn't for glory, money, fame or recognition but just because it was right and needed.

The best human beings are those who find a purpose over their own needs. And Richard has done that. He is so many things to so many people and somehow manages to treat everyone as if they are special and he has time for them.

The world would be a better place if more people were this decent.

I love you loads and am so proud of who you are, Richard*.



(*This doesn't mean I'll stop yelling when you piss me off though, Mr C)