a complete screw up

This wasn’t what I had in mind for today’s blip.  

Anniemay’s at the gym, the coffee machine is on and I have time and space to do a little job that - if the videos on Youtube are to believed - is as easy as ….  a really easy thing.

Since I agreed to do a gig at the end of February, I’m getting invites to do others.  Haven’t committed myself to anything yet - it’s still early days and I have to see the consultant in Birmingham first.  But still ….

I’ve decided to use my Taylor Big Baby guitar for the gig and have purchased a pickup so that I can  plug it into the PA system.  The box that the pickup came in has, written on the side, the following; ‘adding a pickup to your guitar is easy.  A screwdriver and a few minutes are all you need.’  

I double check with a video on Youtube, get my tools and settle down to a job that “takes no more than 15 minutes.”

The first thing to do is to remove the shiny knob at the bottom of the guitar (this is the bit that the strap attaches to).  It’s going to be replaced with a new shiny knob that contains a wire for the pickup and a socket for the cable that goes to the amplifier.  

I reach for my precision Phillips screwdriver and remove the first two screws.  The third won’t budge.  I huff and puff for a few moments, but nothing. It’s completely stuck.

I utter the usual DIY mantra ‘***!!!@@@@^^^^****’ but no luck.  On closer inspection the screw is not sitting flush with the guitar body, it’s skewed to one side - as if it’s been cross-threaded.  Not only that, the slots in the screw head are not slots - they are in fact round.  My guess is that they’ve been installed with an electric screwdriver and overtightened. 

What to do, what not to do, that is the question; whether ’tis nobler to fetch a large hammer or make a fresh cup of coffee and sob.

A hammer is really out of the question; this is a musical instrument, not a brick wall.  Besides which, the screws are very, very small.  I fetch the coffee and the Kleenex. Then I fetch my camera.  

The ‘selfie’ is an unintended consequence of shooting a shiny knob with the macro setting on the camera.  I have no wish to embarrass you or myself by showing red-rimed eyes, so have applied software to magic them away.

After a wander round the garden for inspiration I return to my task with a pair of pliers. It’s made difficult because the pliers are large and the screw head is tiny and domed so the pliers keep slipping. It takes a long time, but gradually the screw comes undone.

I'm just finishing when Anniemay bounces back from the gym desperate for her lunch so I'll leave the actual fitting of the pre-amp until another day.