As good as it gets/Something's gotta give

This could either be titled, As good as it gets or Something's gotta give. The former, because this precious moment when the boys woke me up wrestling next to me was indeed as good as the day got, stuck at home with sick boys still, cabin fever setting in, me having little rest, no respite, no nursing support for Reuben's nightshift, feeling quite alone once again.

Whilst I'm by myself, it makes sense to have them both sleep in with me. The crib to the right is just for show: Callum has absolutely no intention of ever sleeping in it again. Reuben is in with me as the easiest solution to me doing his through the night tube feeds, meds and treatments.

So I guess Something's gotta give might be the best description. Hey, at least I didn't have to save Fishy or clean a poo stained backdrop, walls and bed today (Callum sticks his hands down his pants when he poos and then tries to get it off his hands, even if that means on Reuben's trousers). Green stuff still a flowing but by tomorrow after an incredibly rough, tough, impossible stretch, I will have help again. I really don't feel this is all sustainable though for me. I'd love the luxury of some domestic help which I haven't had for 9 years since my working years in London, and because cleaners earn more than I do as a photographer, there's the rub. I almost fall over laughing when I contemplate cleaning a house, looking after two toddler boys, trying to work on client photos when I should be sleeping at night, battling the colds, unpacking from the construction (still) solo mio. Having re-read this, I do count my blessings, tomorrow will be another day, it's just that today was really rock bottom tough. One of the pediatric Drs called to discuss upcoming surgeries and once again I have those to contemplate for Reuben.

There was also an unhealthy dose of DVD watching. I may not have TV, but I have a large range of educational and signing videos which the boys love and they were only too eager to watch another show. Oh dear, but at least I could see the new words Reuben was signing beautifully as a result: pay attention, class, smart, line up. I've been his only teacher to date so nice to let Signing Time have a go too.

What did make it precious though was when the boys had a long runaround in the back garden yesterday (felt like I was putting them out little rascalling dogs) as with new patio doors I'm now able to see them from inside, whilst cleaning the house and watching them chatting away to each other, signing (Ruben mostly teaching Callum) and Callum taking Reuben by the hand, helping him stand up with a "come on".

This is the one and only photo from today, swiftly processed.