If the crossroad appears

I don't know what to do, I'm really getting frustrated with everything at the moment. Like I had done something very, very, very wrong but I don't know what. I must tell this before my brain snaps so listen up to me if you dare - this is a really complex thing to speak out.

Well, it was last year when I signed up here. I thought it could be a nice idea to take one photo a day and that indeed fascinated me a lot. If you have recognized, I'm not a "normal" Finn, I write long write-ups in English at times and can talk about nearly anything in many ways. So yes, mundane Finnish people aren't that familiar with those who they don't know from their personal lives so they don't want to talk about their own lives with them. Finns actually want to live their own lives in their little circles with their most loyal people - with things that never change too much.

I might have said this before that Finnish people are often rude and mean and I don't like that way of acting - so if you are an "odd, weird, not-so-conventional" person, you should disappear as fast as you can if some people don't like you. So, my situation and problem is that I have annoyed some people by being myself. I have annoyed them by taking photos and posting them here every day, too. I have annoyed them in a way I can't figure out myself.

So, the true problem at last is that some of the annoyed ones are here in Blipfoto too. Oh, I don't really care if they want to be here but sometimes if I comment for someone's post, they come and throw me with a swear word or two. It is always something like "f**k off, you're so stupid and nobody wants to see you anywhere so go to hell". When I ask for more arguments, the only ones I get are "f**k off" and "go away, you stupid person". That really hurts me.

Well, the problem didn't end yet. Some of the annoyed ones are on my class - actually all of them. That is very complex because they don't want to talk to me but in Blipfoto they think it's okay to act childishly after my comments. If I ask that if they could tell me more about the annoying "facts" about me face-to-face, they only note that I am "simply a stupid person".

I'm feeling very sad and unhappy with myself and I don't really know what to do with this. The 'crossroad' is coming closer and closer so if I don't know what to do soon, the only chance seems to be that I have to say goodbye to Blipfoto to preserve my peace of mind. I thought I could have a gentile discussion with the annoyed ones but now I think it'll never happen. I've tried and tried and after my every try the result is always the same: mean laughter and mocking just because I am me.

This all might sound such puny but today my mind suddenly became too black to be understood and when a single tear fell from my eye, I realized I need to do something. To make my way brighter once again, I just need to figure out what could be ultimate enough to get rid of this dusk.