Merde

What a shit ten days or so that was.

Boiler - goosed - working again after paying £80 for a diagnosis I didn't need cos it turns out it was still under warranty - manufacturer sent someone out to fix it free of charge

Oven - goosed - new element required (I hope).

Lights on cooker hood both gone - can I find the bulbs anywhere? - can I banjo! - John Lewis save the day.

Dishwasher - door wouldnae shut, wood damaged - sorted now

Hoover - goosed, need a new one.

Hair clippers - goosed - discovered after having shaved quite a bit of hair off - continued until it was all off but it was the most violent haircut ever - need new ones.

3 words - Windows fucking Vista - incompatible and p2p ability of a fuckin ZX80

Wireless internet couldn't be installed cos I was sent a BT router that was only compatible with BT broadband - new one was sent out - exactly the same but worked, thankfully.

Hibs look to have given the pies away at wholesale prices.

Chelsea are threatening to win the big prizes with a team of creatine-charged robots.

The house up North is booked out just when I wanna take Sammy Davis, the Wizard of Oz, on a Highland bender.



But fuck it - Uncle Bill pulled through his various cancer ops nae bother and nobody can shut him up now. That cheered me up.



What cheered me up today though was this email from the missus:

"Hahahaha.......I've just opened my purse at work and found the fake jobby in there.......Was that you or Jacob?!"


It wasnae me.