1 Day Short of 12 Weeks

Well, it happened today . . . the day that we hoped would never arrive. Today our granddaughter, Desiree, moved-out of her Aunt Dede & Uncle John's house. She took our great-grandson Tristan and flew to the Midwest, moved to Norman, Oklahoma. That's where Desiree's mother has recently moved to.

Can you guess the heartache that is being felt here? Our daughter, Dede, is devastated. Her husband, John, and kids, Ashly and Emerson, are hurt and probably a little bit angered. Ashly had given up her bedroom and been sleeping on the sofa so that cousin Des and Tristan could have a room of their own. Mr. Fun & I have talked and prayed and cried. Our hearts are so heavy. We knew that Tristan was in a wonderfully healthy and nurturing environment. He's such an easy going little boy . . . a chatter box who loves to mimic and play. It was so fun to have him at family camp several weeks ago.

Yesterday Desiree gave notice that her mom would pay half the airfare for Des and Tristan, Des said she would be moving to her mom's because it's much cheaper to live in Oklahoma. Dede said it was like having a bomb explode in her heart. She knew that Des had not been responding well and has been very distant the past several weeks, so this news was the explanation. Des had been planning to leave.

I've had to wonder how much cheaper than "free" can it get. Dede & John haven't charged her rent and have provided all food and driven her to every appointment she needed to get to and to and from her job at McDonalds. Dede has taken care of Tristan while Des is at work, when she wants to go out with friends, and even when she's home if she was tired.

Desiree has the ability to be a wonderful mom, but she doesn't have the help of a husband and her 20 year-old desires are a huge distraction, so her aunt and uncle provided a place where she could have lots of help and at the same time get into school and progress toward a better position in life.

I really thought that I had the ability to go there to say goodbye and hug them both and contain my composure. So I'm confessing that I lost it in a big way as I hugged Tristan goodbye while watching my daughter blink back tears and granddaughter Ashly doing the same. Choking back sobs is a terrible way to say goodbye.

Des is moving into a mess. Her mom has two younger daughters one 8 years old and one just 2 months older than Tristan. We know Des is pretty mixed-up and certainly feeling lost. Her mom has lured her by convincing her that it will be cheaper and easier there. Des has spent her life being shuffled between her mom and her dad and we're sure that has left her wounded. Now she is shuffling once again.

I'm working in the Writing Center today brushing tears from my eyes and dealing with the devastation left behind. My daughter sent me a long emotional email and a line that I thought was so poignant "Mom, a moment I won't soon forget was Windexing his little hand prints off of the sliding glass doors. I got on my knees while doing that and begged God to break the chain of making bad decisions so Tristan won't make them."

One of my greatest desires is to be an encourager, so today I've encouraged myself with the thought that Southwest Airlines can take me and Mr. Fun to Oklahoma every couple of months to visit Tristan and Desiree.

Broken-hearted in Southern California.
Rosie (& Mr. Fun), aka Carol