LL Cool Jim

By LLCoolJim

A droopy flag needs a wind of change

Last night, tv news.

Salmond - He disnae mess aboot with the sweeping changes. Kirsty Wark was trying her hardest, in the big boys smoking room, to find a chink in Alex's armour. She stopped shy of talking over him repeatedly and cutting him off like her shameful effort earlier in the year. Cannae see you getting any holidays in the sun with Alex and his family, hen. Yer sour grapes are too hard to mask now, sweetheart. Time to sling yer hook. Get shot of her and give us Glen Campbell please. She's like a wasp at the Scottish picnic these days.

That school dinner lady, Cathy Jamieson, stuttered a lot of pish. Her and McConnell really embarrass me when they open their gobs. His shouting in the Parliament when a calm, spoken voice would do wound me up. He was always shouting to us or about us as though he was a beat copper telling us to pick up the sweetie wrapper we just dropped in the street. All I'll remember him for is, when presented on the biggest stage/economy in the world, in New York, he jigged about in a pinstriped mini-skirt and an over-sized blouse. What an erse. Forsyth and Steel made some valid points along the lines of "bring on the referendum", don't fear it cos Salmond wants that. They might be right. Imagine we hadn't bottled it in '79. I worry about how the stubborn "underclass" here would help make it "similar to Norway, Sweden and Ireland".

Gordon Brown is the finest economically-driven politician of his generation. I laugh at how he is portrayed down South as an outsider. He's Scottish, but if he's on your side it's like having Zidane running your midfield. Occasionally he alters stats for his benefit. "in the last three years, Scotland's growth rate has been higher than the rest of the UK". Bollocks. "The Scots yield a budget deficit that English charity fills for us" - apparently it's £11 billion or 12% of our GDP. That's probably bollocks too by the way. We'd know all about the price of bread if it was. But, hey, if that is what the Labour-backed Executive GERS report told us is true at the time then let's tell 'em to fuck right off and let us sort it out ourselves. Ireland has the same spend as us but a budget surplus. How do they do that?

Of all the changes the Salmon is suggesting, one I cannot agree with more passionately is the overhaul of the media. Before Newsnight last night both the ITV and BBC main news programmes led with the same story: Killer Toys from China. They timed it so the whole tv audience would hear this, the main story, from the presenters mouth, as the scary drums pounded away to signal the big headline at the start. BBC - "What did they all have in common - Made in China". ITV - "And all of the toys had been manufactured in China".
That is a fucking disgrace. "Some" had lead paint and magnets and batteries that "could" be harmful to children. Give me a fuckin break. Is that the best they could do to harm China's meteoric rise. Woeful. Big news? They should be ashamed as journalists and editors. Newsnight made no mention of the China story. Hmm??
The Bush/New Labour/Murdoch axis of nonsense continues.

In other news, further down the bulletin, (but not on the ITV one at all) over 170 killed in Iraq in suicide attacks.



I'm with Alex.

(Something light-hearted tomorrow I promise - no more soap-box.)

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