Chaos and Calm

By KatKatzenjammer

My Cross To Bare

We all have those days where everything kind of catches up with us, be it physically, emotionally, or an unpleasant hybrid of both. It's one of those days today. One of the hybrid days. Taking it's toll would be an understatement.
I'm cold. I'm sore. I'm frustrated. I'm confused.
I'm feeling alone.
And I think that is what has made today that much more of a struggle. Sure, I have Master four year old pottering about, being cute as always. But he's on a Mister Independent day. Doesn't want nor need me today. "It's okay, Mummy. I'm fine. You go and relax. I'll play nice and quietly." He's being very sweet. But very absent. Yesterday he was clingfilm. Today we have negative magnetism happening.
I'm missing my other half dreadfully. The fact that he lives over an hour away is really starting to impact on us in a way neither of us expected. We'll be fine. I just wish he was here.
I wish ANYONE was here. But nobody is. Nor will they be.
People are making excuses as good as "I.. um... I have to wash my hair" to not catch up for coffee. If you don't want to see me, just say "look, not today. I don't feel like it".
I have people just generally getting on my nerves. Stupid text messages or facebook comments. Someone reminding me of how much I screw things up, and how wrong they think I am.
Someone telling me that because of my abrupt and brutally honest attitude, that I am not allowed to attend an upcoming function anymore, because I 'may offend some people, and our reputation with it'. I rarely get invited to things. But to be Uninvited... Not a nice feeling.
Would anyone care to rub some salt into these wounds while they're still open? Go ahead.

I can deal with pretty much whatever life throws at me. I'm a tough cookie. But some days, there are just too many crosses to bare, and nobody to help share the burden a little.

At least my mannequins have each other to share the burdens, and lessen the crosses.

"It's not fair to deny me of the cross I bare, that you gave to me."
~You Oughta Know - Alanis Morissette

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