Triffids?

Anyone remember the TV dramatisation of Day of the Triffids?

This lovely flower has started blooming in the garden. Took a quick photo and thought it funny that the way I shot it makes it look bigger than the house!

As a side issue, I was on the radio today! There's a new station in manchester (ROck Radio - yeah, I'm being a rock chick at the moment) - quality tunes - AC/DC, Metallica, Kings of Leon and a wide range of quality 'old' stuff' from Led Zepellin, Pink Floyd etc etc. Anyway, driving home they were doing a feature on peoples' worst jobs ever. I have a list. I rang in - and I ended up on air. Quite cool in a sad way!

So, what have YOUR worst jobs been. Here's my list

1. The Cheese Factory : worked in this place for a week when I was at university. Gross. You know the prepacked grated cheese you can buy in supermarkets.... well I had to sort through hundreds of packs of the stuff, take out the mouldy bits and throw the 'good' stuff into a massive container to be reprocessed and repacked....it was smelly and gross, and also the guy who ran the factory was a dirty old pervert who offered to give me extra cash for 'favours'. Hence why I didn't go back - no amount of money is worth that!

2. Cataloguing and data entry - might not seem so bad, until you find out what you are cataloguing ...Bulls Semen! Fortunately I didn't have to 'handle' the stuff, but knowing that each of the code numbers you are entering onto a system relates to a specific bull on a specific farm who has 'donated' so that other lady bovine can be inseminated with a turkey baster by a man with a very long rubber glove - well its just not pleasant. I progressed from this job into customer service support for a 3 month summer holiday - spending my days on the phone to irate farmers who had been triple billed for insemination services or not paid enough for the milk that their cows had produced (milk marketing board disaster in the mid 1990's)

3. BT Directory enquiries - again, might not seem that bad....but it works like this - you sit at a terminal for 2 hours at a time (8 hour shifts), no breaks within that 2 hours and only 1 person out of the room (about 80 people) is allowed from their desk at any one time to go to the loo - a little sign had to be put up at the front of the room on a hook to indicate that you had left the room for toilet time! Whilst sat at the desk, with headset on, you basically took a call and as you sent the customer off to hear their number, at the same time the next caller was hearing your pre-recorded greeting "Good morning, Directories, what name please?"....you were supposed to get through no less than 2 calls per minute and ideally 1 every 15 seconds! Two weeks training (including tests on maps of the UK to ensure that we knew what region a town was in so that the search could be done quickly) Thats why I am ALWAYS super polite to directory enquiries people because I know it is a shit job.

4. Railway cafeteria - Platform 6 Crewe Station
Jeez - who knew that people could be so drunk at 9 o clock in the morning or that the need for a beer after the bar had closed (back in the days when licensing hours meant the bar DID shut at 11 on the dot) would make people so downright bloody rude. I actually had an argument with Giles Brandreth whilst working there as he was unhappy at having a cup of tea in a Polystyrene cup, and having to pay £1 for it. Jumped up idiot - and he was wearing a truly shite jumper as well. I'm sure he's a lovely fellow really. I eventually left on principle as we were only allowed to put 1 slice of ham on a butty and had to fold it carefully in order to trick people into thinking there was loads ... and the pay was crap, and I didn't like having to walk into the tunnels under the station at night to go and change the barrels or the carbonated drinks stuff.


So, when I have a bad day, I remember the shit jobs. And thank goodness that I am a teacher and I only have to deal with kids and their parents and the government ....beats bull sperm, politicians with dodgy jumpers and manky cheese any day!