The Elegance of Being

Started the day at church. I don't go regularly but once in a while we do all go. I am not sure I go for all the right reasons but I do enjoy going . I usually go when things are good to sit and say thank you. Things are improving since the bad time a few weeks ago and somehow it's important to thank something /someone.

Have been chatting briefly with someone else about religion today and it got me thinking about how important this is to some people. Maybe I don't actually mean religion, maybe I mean faith.

Faith and hope are the cornerstones of survival I believe. I don't mean faith in a religious sense but I mean is it that we all feel safe if we have faith: whether that's faith in a god, faith in a community, faith in a partner, most importantly faith in ourselves?

I have always valued Maslow's as a life model. ( Sorry to quote from Wiki, I am lazy ) and aspire to reach the top .Do any of us actually succeed at this ? I think the older I get the more it seems achievable . I can so much easier reconcile bad shit stuff and bad days and know that they will pass. I feel more comfortable being me, I don't fear death and I believe in the value of every day.

I am not sure if I think about this a lot because I don't have a partner and there is no one to talk to about these things ( don't you all laugh and tell me that partnerships are more about chosing paint and arguing over socks)

I am wondering if psychology has replaced religion a lot. Many people have cast religion aside and much of what we ever see of it is the crazy fundamentalist loons that reach the news for all the wrong reasons.

I go to church to sit and think and to feed from the energy that I feel at a church and to try and collaborate all my thoughts and emotions. I am nor sure I believe in God, sometimes I do and sometimes I am not so sure. I always go to show gratitude.

I believe in energy, I believe in serendipity. I am not sure if other people would class this as the work of God. When I used to nurse on the wards and people had died you could feel , really feel an enormous vortex of energy leaving the room. I can not explain this other than it was warm but you felt movement , you felt a tingling on your skin..I used to think this was just me being crazy, then when I had the courage to ask another nurse she felt it too. I am not enough of a physicist to know if this is kinetic energy ( although am happy , very happy to have Brian Cox round for dinner to snog the face off him debate the minutiae of it all with me ) but some would say it was the soul leaving the body.

There is no flow to any of this I realise I am just pondering everything a lot today. Church made me feel good and I don't know whether that was because I had a quiet reflective time, or whether the beardy one up there was looking after me, or because I felt the energy of the communal faith.

That's all . No conclusions. Just musings..

Check out this voice, she is amazing. xx

161 sleeps