You don't know what you've got...

Don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you've got
Till it's gone

Big Yellow Taxi - Joni Mitchell

I haven't been to a gym in years. Despite buying a bike yesterday, I won't be able to pick it up until Friday. So I bit the bullet and went to the gym. I found a cheap 'no-frills' no contract gym that costs £15.99 a month and as I'm technically also a student they waived the joining fee. I figured I could go for a month in addition to my bike - by then I'll be able to run again and I can quit the gym.

WARNING - MELODRAMA ALERT

I'm honestly not sure I can do it. It was awful. There were so many people. It was like a furnace. There was nothing to look at. Everything was so automated, it sucked the life out of you. And the bike and cross trainer aren't going to cut it - they're so blah. And I felt self conscious - something I never feel when I run.

I thought my running playlist would help. It didn't. I haven't changed that playlist in 4 years. The songs are actually my running buddies. They just reminded me of what I'm missing. I had to fight back tears 3 times. I wasn't made for a gym. I was made to be in the cold dismal scottish spring weather.

I'm feeling quite low and I'm just waiting to get home to have a good cry. But I can't help feeling so lucky and grateful that:

1. my ankle injuries aren't bad at all in the grand scheme of things and once I sort them out I promise I'll look after them forever
2. by Friday I'll have a bike to ride, and
3. it won't be long before I can run again.

Ok I'm aware I'm being a big baby, but how do people cope with the gym? I can see how it can improve fitness, but how does that help your mental wellbeing? Give me a deserted stretch of road to run on any day...