Wednesday 27 April 2011: Tea and tantrums
Master Pink went back to school today, and Miss Pink and I went to the garden centre to meet up with my friend and her little boy. Well this morning Miss pink decided she would practise being Two, and all the benefits it brings.
First lull Mummy into thinking that you are a happy chilled out little girl, (the longer term this can be the better - it's more of a shock)
Then insist that walking is better than going in the buggy. When Mummy has got out of the house with the buggy (just in case) walk happily for a few metres. Then sit down. Walk a few more metres, turn to go home, then sit down. Realise it would be better off if you sat in the buggy, ask to go in buggy, then scream really loudly and arch one's back until Mummy has to pull the straps around you. Scream and shout. Lots.
When arriving at the garden centre, and more importantly the play area, feign interest in the toys, and show a moment of happiness as you see the pink cooker and all it's plasticy loveliness. Enjoy the cooker.
When Mummy is appearing to relax, decide it is time to remove the toys from the play area. The dolls pram is not a toy that should be kept in the play area, despite all the signs put up by grown ups suggesting otherwise. When Mummy asks if "we should keep the pram in the play area" become cross. Simmer down and return to playing alongside, but not with, friend.
Decide that you want some baked beans. (it is 10am) Demand to sit in a highchair. Demand baked beans. Loudly. When mummy refuses baked beans and offers biscuits instead, refuse. cake, refuse, sandwiches, refuse. DO NOT be fobbed off with any other food type item.
Go back to plastic kitchen. Make cup of tea, get cross because friend has decided he want to play too. shout at him "No, Baby"! (exact words) several times.
If friend decides to cheer things up a bit by giving a cuddle, push him out of the way. Mummy may try to stop you from doing this, get cross with her too.
At this point mummy decided it was time to go home!!
Shout loudly and crossly that you do not under any circumstances want to go in the buggy, sit down, stand up and run off. Sit down. Be picked up. Sit down. Commence wrestling match into the buggy.
Mummy will then walk swiftly out of the cafe with a screaming, shouty Miss Pink, feeling rather bad, and worse for wear, and apologising prfusely, for everything.
We had baked beans for lunch!!!