Saturday 18 June 2011: My precious ... My everything
I posted a status on FB earlier, complaining about my daughters both being really clingy, how frustrated I am that even though I do spend lots of time with them, they must always be within my shadow.
I raised them this way, I give them so much focused attention that it's no wonder they want to be near me. All I ever wanted was a close relationship with my children, the type I never had with my Mother. I wanted my children to have a close bond, like the one I craved and didn't have with my little sister. I've got what I wanted, I should be happy.
So, whilst ironing, I watch LOST, I'm on season 6, it's the season where they all realise that they knew eachother in the alternate time, another life. The moments where they have their flashbacks, those memories, they made me think. Back to the hopes and dreams I had for my baby girl before I ever even had her. My blip is a photo I have on my bedside, she's 12 hours old .. Simply perfect.
So she clings to me, I hope that in 10 years time, then again in 20 years time, that she loves me and wants to be around me the way she does now. I do love her so very much.
And to close, I just want to remind myself of the fantastic things that she does, because its so easy to get caught up with untidy bedrooms, shouting matches with her sister, constant yelling at me ... How about I think that, in the morning, she's going to come into our room, see her newly ironed clothes hung on our wardrobe doors, she'll take them to her wardrobe even though she struggles to reach and she'll put them away, when her sister wakes up, she'll move her clothes too. How about when she really lovingly encourages her sister to try a new toy or play a new game? How in the morning, when her sister wakes up she'll go into her room and play all sorts of games and have her baby sister giggling away, childrens giggles are infectious! How about when she finishes her meal, she always puts her plate on the side by the sink. How for no reason at all, she'll come give me a hug, with those huge, beautiful brown eyes and tell me that she loves me so much.
My amazing baby girl.