The Journey

So yup it's that two year mark. I think I said it last year that I never thought I would get to 365 without a break, but this year I really really didn't think I would make 730. Time has been the issue mainly and because of that I have lost my skills a little, but I am so glad I have kept going . I am also delighted that you have all been there looking in and commenting when frankly I have posted some nonsense in the last few months ( I think new glasses from Tesco was a particular low point oh that and calling one blip after a 70s porn mag: Wet and Wild ). You all inspire me and make me smile every day your journals are so vastly different and yet all compelling in their own way. I want to get back to taking the kind of shots I used to and continue to learn from the masters like Paul and Bob but that's a resolution that will have to be a mid year one rather than a New Year one as I have enough on with my New Year's stuff.

So the next few months I have my nurse prescribing course to finish and the small matters of a triathlon to train for oh and a half marathon thrown in and some little 100 mile bike ride. I am looking forward to all of the work and the events themselves (remind me of this in two weeks will you when it's the night before my first exam and I suddenly find three books I should have read ).

Apart from the triathlon I am going dry this January for Dryathlon. I am aware that I probably drink too much wine and it's time all that stopped. I have never thought that I have a drink problem ( we all say that ) as I have been around alcoholics that have caused havoc to themselves and loved ones and because of that I have always possessed a " No that's a step too far" switch inside of me. I don't actually drink more than the weekly limits BUT I probably have used wine as a crutch and it's time I grew up and had a word with myself. Someone asked me recently if I had been drinking in the day, I hadn't but I still smelt from wine from the night before. Hideous. I have been doing a lot of reading the last two weeks and the book " Daring Greatly" ( Brene Brown ) talks about the power of vulnerability and how being vulnerable is a strength that allows us to dare and take chances in life. Many of us, she states, mask vulnerability by anaesthetising it with alcohol, social networking, working too hard, relentless consumerism, drugs etc etc.


I believe that these agents enter our lives rather insidiously but then remain there as intrinsic parts of the every day grind and detach us from reality to an extent, almost like how a virus affects us; it links onto our receptors and becomes a part of us. We can ONLY change if we listen to others and most importantly to ourselves. Being so honest is not always comfortable but it is a segue into us evolving into who we can be.

Brown goes on to say that to anaesthetise vulnerability and pain also means numbing the good stuff. The power of vulnerability is that it allows us to take the leap, take chances and live more fully.

A lot of what she says resonates with me and I want to take on the heart and ethos of her book. I am a positive person anyway so I really am going to try to cut alcohol right down, I don't need it. It's a reason I gave up Facebook, it was a way of detaching from being real. So it's dry January and then we shall see how it goes after that. I am not going to say I am never going to drink again but I do want to enjoy my life as much as I can and I want to grow as a person this year.

Right, enough, this will be the last long write up for a while so you can stop pressing the unsubscribe button now!!

Thanks again to all of you for being great blippers and thanks to those of you that I know in real life that I am honoured to call friends

Rach
102 sleeps till the triathlon and yes I have been for a New Year's Day run and it felt great
xx

One of the Brene Brown talks,