Banker

Some months later, Lefty and Baldy are enjoying a relaxing drink after work


Baldy - Now, L, no disrespect but you? Head-hunted?

Lefty - Not to worry Baldy, I can see how it would seem odd to a dull witted brain such as yourself that a major business player would value my skills. But what you've got to understand Baldy is that the fundamentals of business are the same everywhere. You see a market, you understand the needs of the consumer and you satisfy those needs at a price that reflects the value of that product or service at a specific point in time. The basics are simple and on top of that you find ways of securing the loyalty of your customer. Repeat business Baldy - getting people to come again and again - the cornerstone of any business and in the case of Steamy Leisure, quite literally the key to our success.

But you see Baldy, the mistake people make is to confuse the surface appearance with the essence. They say the customer is king but the aim of any business is the same: get the punter on his back, dependent on the supplier and then to milk him dry and all the while, let him think he's in charge and having a good time. So, I would say it's a piece of far-sighted genius for this outfit to recognise my particular strengths in that area.

Baldy - So where you off to then?

Lefty - RBS, Baldy, where else would my talents be put to such good use?

Baldy - And when you going?

Lefty - Right now Baldy.

Baldy - Oh, I'll see you around Lefty.

Lefty - No, Baldy, you won't. And Baldy, it's Laurence now.