A Fishy Tale

Today, I went to Morrisons.

At the Fish Counter, I whipped out my Olympus and started snapping the lovely produce.

There was a voice at my ear mid-snap. "Excuse me sir, why are you taking photographs of the fish?" An imperious tone. I guessed a young man, not used to power, part time job but loving the status of fishmongery. He has found a way to order his universe, to feel safe and be IN CONTROL.

I turn and gaze. I was right.

I answered- "Because they are pretty." I am smiling like a shark. Dead eyes.

He replies:" Are you on holiday?" (Whaaaa? Is this the only time people take photos? Are there no fish where I live? Is this fish porn?!!!)

I say: " Every Saturday is a holiday for me, my good man." (I have upped the ante using "my good man". )

Fishguy: "Only, SECURITY (His emphasis) have asked people to leave before when they were taking photos of produce. You might be from Tesco.."

Me (Adding musical effects to increase the tension)"Dum Dum Daa-aaaa! My God!"

Fishguy: " Just letting you know (slighty unsure now due to musical interlude. He has noticed the shark smile. Thank God. He IS a fishmonger after all.)

Me: " You know, thanks and all that, but I think I am going to risk it. I am going to continue to snap these mackerel. And if I get caught, well, I'll just have to deal with that."

Fishguy: (Curtly) "Ok"

He returned to his position of power, stroking his filleting knives and arranging his labels just so.

I evidently didn't know my plaice.

Have you ever had a "situation" taking shots? I am eager to know. please post below.

JMx