Today was the day...

OK, so, I wanted to take a lovey dovey pic of something cute and cuddly for Valentine's day... Maybe even a pic of the hand made valentine my hubby made for me with construction paper and glue sticks... But, instead, all I do is stare at this 14 page report about my son... My eyes are burning from reading, and from crying... I am not sad, really I suppose I am quite happy, but I am just so confused...

To say that this report is detailed is an understatement... it shows that his FSIQ is 141, and his GAI is 154... The jist of those scores means that he's in the 99.7 to 99.9 percentile in intelligence... Apparently the GAI means more, but I don't really understand all the psycho mumbo jumbo yet... I just read and re-read the pages trying to figure out where to go from here...

Good news is that the tests show that his issues are not likely PDD related, and more likely being caused by the ADHD, anxiety disorder and DBD (Disruptive Behavior Disorder NOS), which I am just starting to understand... I don't know really what GOOD versus BAD is anymore when it comes to this, but the Doc seemed pleased with the results overall...

Obviously, I am proud as a peacock to have such a star! He's also one of the most loving kids you'll ever meet... I just hate that there is so little that I can do to make his life easier... It's almost like his brain is in constant struggle with itself...

Apparently, in Rhode Island, where we live, it's near impossible to get help for children in my son's shoes... He has severe emotional and social issues, but is quite brilliant... The school doesn't want to help him, since he's not "falling behind", (Thank you GWB, your "no child left behind act" is hurting more kids than it ever helped)... Also, the schools don't have any services for "gifted" children at all, since budget cuts in the past 10 years have caused the dissolution of programs across the state... So, here we are. stuck in between a rock and a hard place...

Luckily, the Doc gave me the names/links to various organizations that may be able to point me in the right direction as far as therapy and enrichment programs... I was amazed by his kindness... I feel quite lucky to have found someone that really made me feel like he cared about my son's struggles...

At this point, I really have no idea where to go from here... I just want my son to have the most "normal" life possible... I want him to find joy in his daily routine... I want him to smile, to love and to experience all that life has to offer...

If all else fails, I'll gladly work a second and third job if necessary, just to afford the private school tuition... If that's what it takes... I mean, we have to do what's best for him...

I just wish I knew what that was right now...