the selfish Captain Asshat and his trusty steed
This gentleman and his similarly-arseholic partner-in-psycling who followed a few minutes later can simper winsomely all they like; it doesn't make it acceptable for them to cycle on the fecking pavement. I realise that glaring at them as they approach and growling at them to get off the pavement as they pass might not achieve much but I live in hope that for every five or six arseholes/couriers who trundle merrily on convinced that they are right the sixth or seventh will feel sufficiently shamed to change their dingbat habits and stop playing their part in fuelling the antagonism between pedestrians, cyclists and motorists. If they had more of a leg to stand on I expect more of them would say something back as they for some reason tend to when I growl at them from the context of another bicycle. The only time a cyclist has fought back when challenged whilst in pedestrian mode was when a codger leaving the Scotchman car park crossed over onto the opposing pavement and narrowly missed my toes (for some obscure reason seeing as he later went west along Holyrood Road) then post-challenge started whining about "is he expected to go on the road?" (answer: yes) even though the road was completely empty of cars and his cycle was rather more than adequately illuminated to have been as safe as a cyclist can be even if it had been rush hour rather than late evening.
Anyway, don't cycle on pavements. It is illegal and unnecessary and gives cyclists a bad name. People who cycle on pavements are mindless twats and no-one wants to be a mindless twat, do they?
The day had been going so well up to that point, too: Amazon are selling the things I want for quite cheap, I got something completed and sent out, I managed to get in and out of the changing-room at lunchtime without encountering the lunchtime runners and found and bought and sent a mothering-Sunday present.