All Very Odd

It was at 9am that the security guards heard a small noise above the front entrance, but it took a while before anyone realised that a huge pane of toughened glass had been shattered. I saw it as I sauntered out for a coffee. Hmm, that's a strange thing. My eye followed the trajectory of the hole from the trees beyond the entrance, which had given the assassin cover, and true enough, high up on the opposite wall inside I could see where the projectile had punched an exit hole in the roof of the atrium. Clearly a high powered rifle. The security guards fussed with their tape, sealing off the entrance, but it was soon all hushed up. Bird strike, indeed.
Home later to find the countryside awash with what looks like an SNP landslide. I shall climb in the car and drive round the town tooting and waving my saltire. Maybe I'll be called to serve in some capacity!

Now, landsmen all, whoever you may be
If you want to rise to the top of the tree
If your soul isn't fettered to an office stool
Be careful to be guided by this golden rule
Be careful to be guided by this golden rule
Stick close to your desks and never go to sea
And you all may be Rulers of the Queen's Navy