the true meaning

John 19:17Carrying Her own cross, Mr Cadbury's Parrot went out to the Place of the Eggs (which in Aramaic is called Golgova). 18Here She was attached to the cross using clothes-pegs carved of woodstuffs apparently with two other people either side though they must be Out of Frame.
19Then a notice was prepared and fastened to the cross. 20It read "Get your mini-eggs here, they are luvverly" in Aramaic, Latin and Greek though 'mini-eggs' in Aramaic is just 'mini-eggs' like 'Helicopter' or 'Internet' in Welsh and Gaelic. 21Many of the people could not read the sign and just took the eggs which were scattered beneath Her feet. 22The sign then fell off and got blown away which is why it isn't in the picture.


I don't believe in any of this religion nonsense-stuff but I certainly believe in mini-eggs: I have the empirical proof thereof in a packet on my desk. Mmmmmmmymm. I have another five packets in the freezer seeing as last year they immediately disappeared from the shops at the stroke of midnight on Easter Monday. I believe the Cadbury factory outlet in MacArthur Glum shopping centre flogs them all the year round but it lies fifteen miles westwards. I might try freezing some Creme Eggs too though the tasty fondant yolk and albumen does have a tendency to expand and crack the tasty chocolate shell even under light refrigeration.


Although I tend to view easter mostly just as the time of year when mini-eggs are available, the start of the bulk (and bulky) tourist season in Edinburgh and the occasion of two nice quiet-office days it is perhaps the time of year when the religious most attempt to impose themselves and their views onto the public, possibly even more so than they do at christmas. I was thinking how pleasant it was to have not yet encountered any placard-wielding shouters in any public spaces so far this year. However, it's now Saturday morning and apparently someone was handing out free Creme Eggs alongside an invitation to a church. I have heard of roving gangs of toothily-smiling church-invitators before (apparently they always start off with "Do you live locally?" to make people think they're about to ask for directions before the "We'd like to invite you into the open and loving arms of the Lord Jesus" whammy) though have never encountered them directly. I'll have to try and avoid anyone subverting the Truth which is the Creme Egg by applying it as bribery in case I become un-weekend-ily vexed and have to start listing incontrovertibly-proven examples of evolution.

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