Backing Britain

Feeling under a little pressure having been nominated by our PM to take up the role of Deputy PM, which I am of course honoured to accept, should The RGB Party be elected.

I wholehearted concur with the Day 3 Manifesto and would like to echo the PMs feelings that it is indeed difficult for the PC Brits to laud their patriotism without being accused of being anti all others, so we tend to fall short of hoisting our union jacks from the front of our houses for fear of being branded BNP supporters when the reality is we simply wish to embrace the union of these great Isles we were born in and live upon.

It is after all the British people who have welcomed all-comers into our communities and culture thus far, almost without question, and is what makes Great Britain such a wonderful multi-cultural society it is today. What we must start to recognise however, is that it is still Britain. It is a small group of islands (in fact, over 6000 in total....and not a lot of people know that!) and we are thus limited on space.

I would therefore like to expand on the Manifesto by including immigration conditions that include embracing the British culture and way of life so that only those committed to becoming a contributor to our shores and culture will be willing to make, small individual sacrifices for the good of Great Britain and all whole sail in her.

Those wishing to stay must learn our language within 6 months, or pay themselves for translators needed whilst benefiting from our Nationalised services. This will include, for example, sick relatives shipped in to take advantage of our NHS (see Day1) already bursting at the seams.

When I next use Polish Builders, I want an invoice please, with VAT on it and a contribution to our tax system which in turn will improve services for all.

We would like to outlaw British companies utilising foreign call centres and giving them British names in a vain attempt to convince us that we are speaking to British citizens on British soil. This is pseudo nationalism at it's worst and is easily foiled. If ever in doubt, ask their location. If they answer London, ask them what their weather is like! Always works....they nearly always say it's raining!...such is their perception!

I am pleased the impending PM made reference to Wales, Scotland and Ireland in particular and in my efforts to help spread harmony amongst the 4 main countries of the Union, I have asked Seamus (pictured) to act as adviser to the Secretary of State to oversee all British Cultural policies.

I have known Seamus for sometime and apart from the very well documented perceptions of a Leprachaun's powers of granting wishes, they all, of course, provide an important back-up finance plan should we run into donation problems. We will of course need to wait for the rains to cast their bow, ask for our third wish and simply follow them back to their hidden pots of gold. In the interim, Seamus and his thousands of followers will hide away in the undergrowth keeping an eye on developments, being our eyes and ears on the ground.

One word of warning to all, be careful what you wish for...it may just happen - particularly with Seamus et al under cover!

PS - Seamus did ask me to apologise to all for the haste in preparing for this portrait, as only upon processing the shot did he fully appreciate that he had not removed all the bacon he had for breakfast from his beard.