Man At 'Work'

This is blip number 299. What have I learned over the past 299 days?

That I can take a blip worthy picture from my office, over and over again.

That Fat Penfold here does nothing but talk on the phone and rotate his collection of hi-vis clothing.

That's probably it. Mind you in 1 year blipping I have learned enough to get by, in 25 years supporting Lincoln (I know, so youthful looking.... I started watching them four years before I was born) I still haven't learned that no matter who we sign, we are shit.

Lost 1-0 last night. Nothing of amusement happened. I had the usual fall out with my Dad. I call him 'Old Man Clanford' (because we sit in the Clanford End. I was born in the Clanford End. Probably) as he does nothing but bitch like an old man. We always have stern words, part ways angry and then reconvene at a later date to talk sensibly. I love my Dad, he is a stubborn old f*cker and proper old school. He is also a real gem of a man, just like his Dad was.

In other news I'm not at work tomorrow or Friday. Hahaha to anyone that is.

In further other news don't buy an ASDA toaster. I read someones blog the other day in which they described ASDA as 'one step up from Lidl'. Now for me one step up from Lidl is the waste bins at the back of the homeless shelter, and personally I always thought ASDA was a step up from Tesco and a step down from Sainsburys. Turns out ASDA stuff is shit. Whacked some bread in the toastie maker, lathered it with finest cheddar and pressed down.

*snap*

Handle comes off. Cue me shouting at yet another malfunctioning electrical product. Back to Tesco it is then.

'Where does Waitrose come in your classification' I hear you ask. Well to clarify here is my supermarket lowdown:

Waitrose - where everything is a bit more expensive, but a lot better quality. I once got refused entry for wearing jeans, and the checkout girls have to have a degree in something. Officially the only supermarket that sell pickled Zebra and Dodo eggs (Dodo as in the extinct bird, not Dido as in the over rated singer)(I still would).

Sainsburys - Relegated as the chosen shop of the middle class as Waitrose storms ahead. Now just for old school middle class and aspring working class. Oh and that god awful woman who gave birth to my ex. Probably somewhere that sells fresh pomegranate.

Morrisons - Aisles are too tight, self checkout facilities are shit and far too many annoying little market stalls around the outside. Market street? My arse. Sells popular brands but you won't be finding caviare anywhere in the aisles. Everything is two for one, even the check out girls (well worth a tenner)

Tesco - Fuck them. If only the clubcard points weren't so lucrative. Tend to employ people with facial tattoos, odour problems or little Hitler syndrome (bossy and forthright, not people who gas entire races of people and then deny it)

ASDA - Make rubbish appliances. In Boston it's a favoured haunt of drug addicts and inbreds (so everyone basically). Officially my least favourite place at the moment thanks to a toastie-less lunch.

Lidl - It's not a supermarket, its where the vulnerable and lazy in our society all congregate to fight and drip skank on the floor. I wouldn't go in here for a Crystal Maze challenge - the checkout girls are paid in smack and the occasional knee trembler from senior management who are also addicted to smack. Probably.

So there you go. I may have got carried away a bit there...... 300 tomorrow.

What the French Connection UK am I going to blip? Is it acceptable to just paint my face again? Maybe I'll scratch '300' into my arse cheeks with a compass and then randomly press my bleeding buttocks up against my magnolia walls to create a nice effect.

Maybe I'll just do face paints.