picture the scene

it's cold, windy, wet....and we still have apples up the trees. So, the children and I were out there picking up apples from the floor and shaking down fresh ones. I hooked the shaking-hook round a high branch...shook the tree as hard as I could and launched the killer apple right at the bridge of my glasses. Next thing I knew the world was black and my eyes were stinging as they filled up with apple juice. I sat on a bucket for a while to recover and then I went on a hunt for the little sod that had done that to me. Now I've blipped it I will make sure it has a very unpleasant death.
An apple, falling from a great height directly onto the nose is a very painful experience. It's bad enough when they hit other places, I am covered in bruises from them, but landing on the nose is just spiteful and nasty.