Guinea Pig Zero

By gpzero

Species of the World, Unite!

PHILADELPHIA: The Occupy Wall Street movement has, as we all know, spread all over the US and to other countries, but observers today report that at least three cats have banded together in solidarity with not only their human companions but also the empoverished 99% of their own species.

"Middle-class cats like myself have every reason to stand with our feral brothers and sisters," said Carlo, a black moggie with intimidating eyes, "as well as those tormented souls who are used in experiments and then executed."

Asked what clear demands he would like to see materialize, he replied, "For me, it's all about belly rubs and tasty treats, but politically we demand that renter-humans have the legal right to serve one or two small pets, regardless of their landlord's opinions on the matter. And you know, the feline caviar 1% could finance all the no-kill shelters and animal welfare groups in the country by each skipping one grooming session a year."

Carlo will not be camping out at City Hall. "To Hell with that! All vegan food; too many dogs."

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