Phonetic alphabet

After watching the good food channel, the spice cumin seed was mentioned. Is Cumin seed just a posh word for sperm? Like when you go to a restaurant and u want chips and on the menu you get Maris piper potatoes hand thick cut, triple cooked, lightly salted
And peppered served in retro 1970's paper. All I want is f**king chips!

We use the Phonetic alphabet at work and my mate thinks it is s**t,, literally. So he has come up with his own expletive phonetic alphabet -
A=a**e
B=boll**ks
C=well u can guess?

He tried Kock for letter K but I pointed out that kock begins with c, then he backed down.
He is struggling with E, I, J, Q, U, V, X & Y. To be fair to my mate, people would remember this phonetic alphabet better.

Just came back from taking my mates dog for a walk down the canal, it's amazing how clean the canal looks at night when you can't see the asda trolleys in it.