If Only...

I were a smaller dog
I didn't shed my hair in bucketfuls
I didn't drool on the floor wherever I lay
I didn't knock over things with my tail

...they might let me go into a bedroom.

Poor Boone. The dog only has two dog beds, endless treats, kids that flop all over him, an endless supply of tennis balls, and two other furry rascals to keep him company.

What a life.