Soggy Santa

It's chucking it down out there - I wouldn't want to be Santa if it doesn't let up.

Mince Pies and a drop of Sherry? Well thanks and everything, not to be ungrateful but what about a 'pac-a-mac' for a change? Or a brolly?

You never see Santa depicted as a dripping wet, tromping sodden sooty footprints all over the cream carpet!

How does Santa stay dry?

Or so Jolly for that matter?

Maybe he's not - he never actually gets seen, so maybe in reality he tromps in and thrusts those parcels into the hanging stockings in a vicious manner, while swearing to himself about never being able to retire and didn't think there'd ever be *this* many blippin' kids on the planet.

You can take your mince pie and shove it up your...