I do

Many years ago I studied at an indonesian university for a summer. And I recall being told how closely an indonesian man can identify with his keris (a type of knife or small sword) - to the point that if he couldn't make it to his own wedding he could send his keris instead - and the woman could marry that as a suitable stand in. I have sometimes wondered how the women must have felt who ended up making promises to a knife. I was reminded of them tonight when mr m had to rush off to the gents while we were out for dinner, and told me I could just talk to his beer till he came back.
So here is mr m. And with his hat and glass - maybe not such a bad stand in after all.