What a load of Bull!

The beast shown here was purchased just before Christmas, he was left in a field away from the heifers and young cows until today, when he was loaded onto a small truck and brought to meet his 'girls.' I missed the loading process, it would have made a spectacular Blip. The owner of the bull is the butcher we use; he and his mates had armed themselves with pieces of plastic hose with which to guide this one ton beast into the wagon. The beast had other ideas, so Lawrence gave him a flick with his hose. The bull, is apparently not into S&M, he gave Lawrence a flick of his own with a rear left hoof, striking the butcher in what may colloquially be called "The Nuts." The hoof mark is indeed there for all to see, I was torn between showing that or the Bull. Lawrence will recover. I have now discovered that the ladies in the field are the only virgins in the whole of Redruth; not for much longer once they put on a bit of weight and achieve that magical status of maturity. (No lippy or mascara required). When the bull approached the group of heifers they formed a circle and warily wandered around him. He wasn't fussed, he seems to know his time will come. No pun intended.


Mr J Simpson of the Parish of Newburgh on Ythan was in his mid 70s when I encountered him, three storeys up a ladder repainting the eves of his house which had been his abode since his 20s. Jimmy wasn't one to let a quadruple by-pass slow him down. Later in the week he had shrunk. Well to be truthful he hadn't really shrunk, but he had dug rather a large hole in the ground outside his front porch.
Being of an enquiring mind (read nosey barsteward) I requested that he tell me what the hell a geriatric old tart like him was doing digging a hole when he should be indoors being tended to by his lovely Peggy. Jimmy pointed to a large pipe which was connected to the property. He was in the process of disconnecting the pipe with a hacksaw.
This seemed rather an extreme move on his part as the pipe was supplying the mains water to Seaview. I asked if he didn't consider his move a trifle hasty.
"No, it's lead, it has to come out."
"Why."
"Well apparently it's killing me!"