The stage prop.

I've worked with all the greats you know, Peter O'Toole, Sir John Gielgud
(dear, dear Johnny) Helen Mirren (slut)....Frankie Howard (such a fruity bloody hoot). I co-starred with Frankie in Up Pompeii. If you look carefully I'm in nearly in every scene, Frankie used to call me his rock! I suppose my biggest scene was where one of the drunken servants vomits on me. It was terribly, terribly important to the plot, and so very, very authentically Roman.

You must of heard of Caligula? Darling of course you have. One of the most famous (or should I say infamous) films of all time. A sexual extravaganza of epic proportions! It was where I worked with dear dear Johnny, such a darling, and the great Peter O'Toole. O'Toole by name! Helen Mirren? Slut. Talk about seeing what she had for breakfast? If I saw her Sausage and Egg McMuffin once, I saw it a dozen times. I suppose my biggest scene was where one of the drunken servants vomits on me. It was terribly, terribly important to the plot, and so very, very authentically Roman...