Growing old disgracefully

By GOD

WORKING FOR AUNTIE

A morning in the soft spring air planting out onion sets in the garden. Then on to the BBC at Pacific Quay to be interviewed (well, it has happened to worse people). Impressed by the internal stepped 'street' and the smart loos. Also impressed by my interviewers. Made a bit of a hash of it and hope the editing will do the equivalent of Photoshop with my voice. Programme goes out on Good Friday.

Then across Bell's Bridge to the bar of the Crowne Plaza, where I approached from behind a handsome man at the bar. I fondled him intimately and asked if he would buy me a drink. He obliged and seemed to know my favourite tipple. Back home to an empty house and a couple of M&S apple and cinnamon hot cross buns - my latest addiction.

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