knotty

the knots i tied myself in last night were unnecessary - absence due to neglecting to mention a midweek day off (f*ckwit, esp since we did converse briefly on weds). i found myself imagining all sorts of things, fixating on one obvious (and really awful) one - and then thinking there might be an upside to it, which i hate myself for. the ties that bind are not yet cut, it seems.

i read an interesting magazine article today that i'm tempted to show him as a short-cut into the heart of an unpleasant conversation we need to have. it wouldn't explain why he did what he did, but it could be one of, if not the reason behind it. it won't surprise me if it is, only disappoint me that he didn't have the guts to come out and say it.

*edit: forgot to mention that it's a modem cable all tied up here, adding another layer to the whole communication issue...