Defence of the realm.

Apparently, Whitehall HQ is rather worried that about the security of the border over the coming Easter holiday and then in the run-up to the Olympic games in London. Mr Cameron can rest assured that we have things fully under control up here on the northern frontier, in Newburgh on Ythan .
We have dug the old WW2 pillbox out of the sand and made it ready for action, the seals of war are full briefed, deployed on the beaches and ready to be unleashed at a moment's notice, and the village submarine is now patrolling the eastern approaches. You may sleep easy in your beds!