Evidence

I knew it was time to call the police when I saw this flat screen monitor in the bush in my front garden today. My upstairs neighbour has mental health problems and although I have no problem with her screaming and ranting in the middle of the night - I mean it's a bit disturbing, but it can't be much fun for her either - I do object to her flinging potentially fatal large household items out of her window.

It started off with fairly harmless items like bits of rubbish and a selection of knickers, which then progressed to a vibrator and an empty wine bottle. The items seems to be getting larger and heavier, and I thought better to nip it in the bud now before I look up one day and see a fridge freezer coming towards me.

The police told me to take this photo as evidence, although I had already removed the monitor by then, so had to put it back in the bush to take the photo. With the pressure of two policemen watching me, I forgot to place the monitor in a more natural dropped out of the window position which is why it just looks like it's been carefully placed there. Because it has.

I also became very conscious of making many references to 'my bush' so then changed it to 'my hedge' half way through the conversation which was a bit weird because we all knew it was a bush and not a hedge.