Reminders

Mum received her first sympathy card in the post today.  It was from my cousin Michael, who I saw only a few weeks ago at the funeral of his own mother - my Dad's sister Joyce.  As he wrote in the card, 2014 hasn't been a good year for our family.

After we got home from a short trip out this afternoon, Mum answered the door to my cousin Julia (from Mum's side of the family).  She also lost her Dad to lung cancer some years ago, and also lost her mother - Mum's older sister - more recently, so she knows only too well what we have been through.  It was so good to see her.  Family and friends are definitely what's needed at times like this.


Mum and I have both been feeling down at times today, as the reality of our loss sinks in.  It feels so wrong that Dad isn't here with us.  All his things are around the house in their usual places.  It's far too soon to clear them away, but at the same time it's painful to see his coats, his shoes, his slippers exactly where he always put them away.  Mum told me she hugged his fleece jacket this morning.  I opened his extra wardrobe in my room today, just to smell his presence once more from his clothes.  Our hearts are broken again and again when we realise with a jolt that he's never going to be here with us again.  At the moment, it all just feels so cruel.


This is Dad's watch, which he wore every day - even on the day he died.  It's all bashed and battered, a testament to the strong and active man he was until only a few short months before the end.