In the year 2525

We won't need these when we are all microchipped.
Journey home had more entertainment laid on by Fruit Loop anf Mad Axe Murderer.....Fruit Loop boarded the plane in her bikini sporting some interesting bruises. They were sitting a couple of rows away (hurrah) surrounded by their new crazy friends (boo).  One of the friends freaked out during the saftey demonstration, it was the life jacket that did it......have to say I always worry that I won't be able to find it upside down in the sea...should have a trial run.
Fruit Loop wailed and shrieked, Mad Axe Murderer threatened, they both drunk the bar dry.  Eventually, he asked the crew to be moved on the basis that his girlfriend was "kicking off and if she don't shut up I'm gonna lump her".  Their reaction was to move him into premium.....must remember that the next time I want an upgrade.
Only half an hour late into Gatwick (those headwinds were now tailwinds)......Fruit Loop still crying......had to wait an hour for the bags because someone had deployed the aircraft emergency chute and the area had to be evacuated.....Fruit Loop now swearing and crying........