Rainforests

For those of you in countries where rainfall is the norm this will seem like a moan.
It has rained today, it has not stopped raining today, it is still raining today, I have begun to draw pictures of an ark, and will proceed to my workshop to shape pieces of timber, steam ribs, strake planks and do whatever a boatbuilder does on his off days, oh probably a bit of caulking as well.

When the sturdy barque is complete we shall provision it, tubs of peanut butter, oodles of lard, casks of gin, a couple of quinine plants for DIY tonic, the lemon tree in anticipation, lentils, dried beans and my collection of Riojas. The diet will be plain but nutritious and after all, after a flagon or three of Rioja, who cares?

The collection of animals will be sparse, a couple of earwigs, a half drowned shrew from the pool, the magpies nesting in the oak at the back door, two neighbourhood cats and if I can be bothered the couple of donkeys that have appeared by the road to Besalu. My ornamental carp will occupy the soup pot temporarily. I fear though if the world is to be re-populated this will be a poor start.

I will load my family, me too old for breeding, the lady wife, still young and beautiful enough, my two teenage sons, hormonally active and up to seeding the earth again, any local wenches that fancy a hurl in a leaky vessel and the neighbours dug, well trained but half knackered and somewhat smelly. Hoping to catch a (pssing) that was spell check not me, passing, pigeon to release after forty days and nights, with a sturdy branch of the olive tree wedged in its nashers, we should be well set. Oh and we also have our house guests, better not leave them, they are both lusty scottish girls, though a little past their prime, in the nicest possible way of course, but should we land in the Tongan sea they would be a welcome addition to the local populace.

Enough of this dreaming , the rain is easing but the drifts of mist are clinging to the tree tops. So unlike you in the wet North, I can foresee the sun tomorrow, lying by the pool, basking in the rays, topping up the tan. The animals are released, the donkeys reluctantly wandering back to their field, the wife is looking disappointed and the house guests are hammering the gin. All is well within the world and tomorrow is another day, the teenage sons are just relieved they don't have to get up.