Just Relax

In B&Q for 8am, wondering a) how come bathroom paint only seems to come in "Vibrant Chav: Changing Rooms Redux" or "50 Shades of Stone" ranges? and b) why are there so many types of masking tape?

I then spent most of the day covering myself, the floor, the cat and various items of cutlery in white emulsion and/or white eggshell.

All the time, wondering why I wasn't out in the sunshine.