not pushing it

I attempted to go for a run this morning, the first since I fell pregnant in March. It was a vague attempt to deal with the terrible loss of the baby this week and to get myself back to normal, but it's fair to say my body isn't quite ready for jogging...

I've debated whether I should even mention this horrible event in my blip, hence the enormous gaps in my journal these last weeks, but what's a journal for if it's not a record of your life in pictures? The bad bits are still your life if the world knows about them or doesn't - keeping them to yourself doesn't make them any less painful.

It's June 1st today, and the jubilee weekend is coming up. I don't feel like celebrating. Nobody has thankfully told me to cheer up or that I'll get over it, but I know I will.

I want June to start not thinking back to a terrible loss, but to recognise the few good things that have come out of it. That I've realised just how much I adore my wonderful boyfriend, and how much I want to share my life with him, that I've defied the odds given to me years ago that I could even get pregnant in the first place, and that I have a wonderful life, full of caring friends and family.